Author R.A. Gasparac

New Years Eve seems to be an unofficial holiday.  Today is the day in which we all take a moment to reflect upon the past and our progress thus far.  Many people will assess that they were a failure for yet another year, and my heart hurts for them.  This is because they focused on the wrong areas of thier life.  This past year was an experiment in self progression which was the most difficult thing I have ever done, including watching my father pass away before me in 2012.

(My life Pre 2014)

In 2013 a story jumped in my head, I noted it, then let it fall back to my subconcious as I was not ready for it.  Slowly over time the story demanded more and more of my attention.   As im sure you guys are tired of hearing it by now, but NaNoWriMo 2014 LITERALLY changed my life.  Walking into that challenge I had spent two years of being agoraphobic, unemployed, and cut off from my emotions.

Come Nano 2014, I was jobless and needed something to occupy my time.   I failed 2008 NaNo challenge, but walked in thinking “Eh, even if I fail, I have more of a story than when I started.”  That thought began the chain reaction to where I am now.  The fear of failure, and defeat were countered with one phrase.

(The music video that inspired one of the antagonists in my Novel.)

Suddenly I had a manuscript.  Even though the story has almost completley changed since that first draft ( thank GOD).  What was born that day was my willingness to better my life.  If I could accomplish something as daunting as a novel draft, what else could I accomplish?  I then spent a year restructuring my book – not re writing – RESTRUCTURING.

(Starting a new buissness with a friend.)

New Years eve 2016 I partnered with a friend to begin the formulation of a company called “Dusk Publishing.”  I put my novel on hold- not because I wanted to procrastinate on it, but because I needed it to ferment in my brain.  2016 was a year of learning buisness practices, proposals, P&L spreadsheets, and focusing on building an empire with a strong foundation ( granted in hindsight, I should have taken a more active role in how the finances were handeled, that blind faith that others were operating as ethically as I was, that I was a documented co owner, treated as an equal- but that was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.)

(How I felt when I discovered my buisness partner was not just taking advantage of me, but others in the buisness. Buisness is never personal, and can be ruthless – I acted on behalf of those to this day have no idea how that person took advantage of them – but I refuse to be party to those crimes.)

Come 2017, I went from cripling anxiety to holding panels and leading teams into conventions networking with powerful people.  Suffice it to say, 2017 was the year everything about me changed.  I no longer buckled under the weight of how others percived me, and my endless quest to have everyone like me.  I have learned that with success of any kind people will come for you. They are too preoccupied with lowering you so they can bring themselves up.

(That moment when you realize your self worth, and earn your own respect.)

“If they are coming for you, you are doing something right.” – Anna Sabolstice ( Dear friend and co worker)

The year of personal, professional, and emotional progress was achived.  It took many years, but looking back I am in every way shape and form a better and stronger version of myself.

(Getting over my own hangups, working on myself, and letting the opinions of others not shape my self image and choices.)

“But Raechel, your buisness failed  – how can you count that as a win?” I realized even though a buisness may fail, I NEVER FAILED.  Why? Because I took risks, and LIVED. I didnt cower and simply exist.  I grabbed my life by the balls and fought for every second of it.  A list of accomplishments is pointless if there is no personal growth to back it up.  I am 150% better than I previously was.

This is my reflection of my progress to this point.  I now know I am greater than the list of my accomplishments and failures.  They are simply proof that I tried where others did not.  I am eager to see what leaps 2018 will bring.

There are some MASSIVE DEVEOLPMENTS in the works – as I’m sure many have assumed I have been paralized with failure, and they are welcome to think that.  The truth is that I have been assessing and pivoting myself.  Laying the foundation for something even larger.  I now know what habits and processes are faulty and I have stripped those away.  Beware of the silence if you are against me – I am here to serve humanity.  I am not in this life for personal glory, I am here to better this world, and god help you if you get in my way.  As Spock said, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

SO, I walk into 2018 ready to do something even greater than I have ever accomplished before ( Dorothy had the power to go home at any point – she had the tools, she just had to realize it for herself first.). I refuse to recoil and go back to old habits and ways of life.  I will be the change I wish to see in the world. I now have the proof that it IS in fact, possible.  Money follows as a bi-product for serving humanity. The end goal is not amassing and hoarding money – seek to serve others and it will find its way to you.

Remember – you are NOT the sum of your accomplishments and failures. With that in mind, what progress have you made with yourself.  I’m not asking for vanity progresses like loosing ten pounds – I’m asking for your personal progress here. Your weight will vary througout the year.  If you were to die at midnight tonight – what progress would you reflect on about youself?  Tell me, not what you have failed at this year – but what forms of progress have you made for youself.