Author R.A. Gasparac

Once again after a long time of restful sleep, my lack of sense of accomplishment pulls me out of dreamland. I’m tired and on the verge of tears. I feel like my forward momentum has stalled out.

I decided it was time to tell the truth and share my feelings about breaking into a writing career. I know for a fact that I am not the only person who is feeling this way, yet we keep on going with the show. The show must go on.

We are all trying to break into this writing gig full time, and we are all struggling to create some facet of an authors platform. We ignore the uneasy feeling in our gut as we feign that we are fine and everything is fine around us, and that success is flowing quickly towards us like some bad infomercial late at night. “In just three easy steps, you too can be a bestselling author!”

My truth is that I am tired. I’m stuck on the hamster wheel- stuck between my day job and the career I want. Working for survival will always steal any and all energy you have or planned to use to go towards your dreams, such as mine.

The time I was a stay at home wife presented me with a Novel I wrote in just one month. I accomplished something more than the multitude of others who cant bring themselves to write a long string of narrative. Now that I am working full time hours to keep my car, and paying off student loans, I am too exhausted to work on my passions.

The grind of our day jobs wears us down to nubs like a bad relationship that demands all of you, and no one else can have you. It’s even worse if you are good at what you do, and your boss sees you are a hard worker. This is the problem. We get stuck and we struggle to pull ourselves out of a vortex of our own creation. The more we struggle, the more the sides of the hole crumble and bury us.

So here is my action plan as a writer. Like all you other writers out there, I have my daily writing goal. I will focus on only one project at a time ( I have seven I have been grinding through at once), and I will make the effort to write in this blog everyday. Even if it is non coherent babble. Why? Because I need you and everyone else in this funk know that they are not alone. The depression and guilt we place on ourselves shouldn’t be hidden from each other. We are all humans, and we have feelings no matter how irrational.

I want to enrich peoples lives, and help inspire them. I cant do that if I am not first honest and vulnerable.